A Whole New Chapter

So I realized that I don't really use this blog as much as I could. This is why I am going to use with an additional purpose. When I started it out, it was going to serve as a photography blog. I have kept to that for the most part but I am going to expand the horizon. Of what do I speak? ... Read on....

For the last 10 years I have been overweight. I was always "the chubby" one but I was athletic and active. When I moved here to Florida and hit my pubecent curse of my teens, I literally stopped moving. I kept ignoring the signs that my body was trying to send me in regards to my health. I would get fatigue quite easily; I wasn't as energetic; certain foods that at one point "grossed me out" were all the more apealing- greesy foods; my clothing size kept rising like the mercury in a thermometer. I would simply push these things aside and say to myself "Don't worry, it's just a phase. You'll drop the wait like that ::snap fingers::" Well, 10 years later here I stand at 5'6", 23 years old, 200+lbs, and tired of it.

I got a wake up call when I was looking through my sisters wedding pictures and video. I realized just how much I had let myself go. I started thinking of all the times I said "no" to a bike ride; "no" to going to the beach because I don't want to wear a bathing suit; "no" to a party because I don't have anything to wear. My family is not necessarily "fit" oriented. My sister has always been the petite one and the health guru and workout queen. My father always played sports with us when we were younger but about 13 years ago he had shoulder surgery after playing basketball and was off the routine for a while. He occassionally played sports and worked out since then but it was never the same. My mother, is of course a saint, but has had the same issue as me. We tell eachother "we'll lose weight together by doing this and this and that and this", meanwhile 2 weeks later we haven't done anything because we're going on vacation or, we have a family event or, we can't start just yet cause it's a thursday. Same excuses. I would always laugh when, as a family, we would decide to get fit because I knew it wouldn't happen. We would try bike riding around the neighborhood but then one day "The bike has no air". A month later the bike is resting against the air pump ladeled with cob-webs and dust. We would try to eat healthy but somehow, oatmeal cookies and oreo's and reeses and blue bell ice cream would walk right back through the front door and into our plates. I put no blame on my family what-so-ever; we are who we are. I began by stating that my wake up call occured when I was looking through my sisters wedding album. That was almost 9 months ago.

My sister recently shared a comment her husband made referring to me in which he said, "She will never lose the weight living in that house." It was this comment that finally shook me out of the coma that I had been in for so very long. However true the comment was, I became resolved to prove it false. My brother in law said it with no ill will nor with any knowledge of how true it was but not for the reason he intended. I would never lose weight living in my house, with my family, because I always used them as an excuse and a crutch. I would just resign myself to believing that "It's because they won't do it with me that I can't lose the weight." Like morning coffee brewing in the next room, that very thought smells of garbage in my nostrels. I am beginning the month of March putting excuses like that where they belong: in the garbage.

I did my research and realized that I needed a kick start to my new endeavor. After much review I came upon "Smart For Life" and saw what I wanted: RESULTS. I have peers that have been successful with the program. It's not "weight loss speed" that I desire but rather a healthy way to give my body a shock and help me change my view of food itself. In case I haven't mentioned it, I LOVE FOOD! I love cooking and experimenting with new flavors and combinations. I didn't want anything to change in that field with the exception of quality and quantity. With Smart For Life, two meals are replaced with nutrient filled cookies or if you prefer shakes and soups. Dinner is high protein and vegetable meal. There aren't many unreasonable restrictions and some that after research, make sense! I purchased the 5 week kit and began this very morning.

I began with 1 chocolate chip cookie and an eight ounce glass of water with lemon slices. The program requires a minimum of 64oz of water a day. I purchased a water bottle that holds 36oz; I am already on my second refill. The cookies, I will not lie, are an acquired taste. They are definitely moist and spongy. The taste is somewhat bitter but not unedible. I had my cookie at 9:30 and have not been hungry since. I am required to eat 6 per day. I think I might find that difficult simply because, I am not hungry. But I will do it!

Exercise is very important as well for obvious reasons. Since I work about 30 hours a week, I have planned out ways to exercise at work. This morning rather that taking the elevator, I took the stairs to the third floor. This made it all the more apparent how much I need to get my health back- I was out of breath for about 5 minutes from just 3 flights of stairs. My goal will be to be able to climb all 5 flights on a daily basis with little to know fatigue what-so-ever. Seems minor but like they say "Crawl before you Walk".

I am going to keep this blog as a Weight Loss Journey Diary of sorts in order to not only record my efforts and success but also to share my experience in the hopes that whomever may read this and shares my pains may find that they are not alone! Far from it! I think that we all have issues with our personal health and opinions on our physical appearance. It would be too easy to blame the media and what society projects as "beautiful" and "acceptable" but I believe that we define ourselves. Pointing the finger is a lazy mans way of not holding the reigns of responsibility.
I refuse to be the one pointing a finger.

So.... this marks day 1.